Overcoming the Labels

“Well, they’re teenagers. What do you expect?”
“He’s a teenager. All teenagers go through a wild phase.”
“I’m a teenager. I’m in my rebellious stage.”
“He’s a guy. He’s gonna tell inappropriate jokes.” 
“Yeah, well, he IS a preacher’s kid.” 

These are all statements that I have heard lately. And while I have also been guilty of making the same types of comments, something inside me cringes when I hear them. There are many, many more examples of stereotypes that I could have written, but I wanted to start with the ones that I continue to hear lately. 

So, what is a stereotype? According to Webster’s dictionary, a stereotype is a fixed idea about a group that may often be untrue or only partly true. According to my husband, Anthony, stereotyping is “putting someone in a certain category without knowing them.” If we connect those two thoughts, we can say that stereotyping is when, without fully knowing a person, we develop this fixed idea (which may or may not be true) about them because of who they are, their age, or any number of identifiable traits. 

According to Simply Psychology, we use stereotypes “to simplify our social world and reduce the amount of processing we have to do when we meet a new person by categorizing them under a ‘preconceived marker’ of similar attributes, features, or attitudes that we observe.” Basically, we can quickly place people into categories without having to think. It’s actually very normal to stereotype. We all have unconscious biases. The problem with these quick, effortless judgments we make on people in order to put them into preconceived categories is that we don’t see the person’s individuality beyond their “label,” and we don’t  allow them to be individuals by their own right. We lazily live life together without giving people a chance to live their life how they want because we don’t want to think and process each person individually.  To me, this sounds so sad. We’ve actually denied a person their individuality, their creativity, their uniqueness because we expect them to be a certain way or fall into a certain category.  The thing about expectations is people usually rise or fall to meet them. 

So the question is: Do we have to simply fall into a given stereotype? Is it inevitable that we will “live up to” the labels that are placed on us? Do we just allow that to happen? Do we even have a choice? 

For the record, I am guilty of placing labels on people-stereotyping them based on their age or who they are. I am also guilty of losing who I am because of labels placed on me. Over time, I used those labels as excuses to justify my actions. I fell into a category instead of being my unique self. So the previous questions are for me as much as anyone who may be reading this. 

Disclaimer: I am not an expert on how brains are wired and how that wiring affects people during different developmental stages in their life. I do understand that there are times when our bodies are experiencing changes that affect our personalities and actions. There are times when the tendency to act in those stereotypical ways is heightened. 

Now, my question remains.  Do we have to simply fall into a given stereotype? Or is there a choice?

I believe we have a choice. That’s an easy answer to say, but I realize it’s hard to choose what’s best or right over the labels that have been so quickly placed on us. It’s hard because stereotypes have created less than ideal expectations for us. As long as you act how you're expected to act, you will be seen as “normal” or “typical”. I also believe that for an individual who hasn’t yet decided to have a personal relationship with Jesus, choosing to live outside of the shadow of your stereotype will be much more difficult. Everything is more difficult without Jesus. :)  If that’s you, my suggestion is to stop here and truly evaluate where you are in life. Knowing Jesus won’t take away all the pain, struggle, and chaos in your world, but surrendering yourself to Him will guarantee that you will never be alone and that He will fight for you and with you. If your identity is not grounded in Jesus, I pray that you will open your eyes and your heart to Him and ask Him to be your Lord and Savior. And when you do, call me!!! I want to celebrate with you!!

Having a personal relationship with Jesus makes the choice that I believe we have much easier.  Here’s why.  2 Peter 1:3 says, “By His divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a Godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know Him…”  We don’t have to be what those stereotypes say we are. We don’t have to live up to the labels placed on us because of our past, our family history, our age, our gender, etc. We have been given what we need to live Godly. We just have to choose to! Over and over. 

So, to the teenagers that everyone says will be rebellious and go through a wild phase, you don’t have to. 2 Timothy 2:22 says to “run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead pursue righteous living.” In Jesus, you have what you need to make the choice to be different.

To the boys that everyone says are going to talk dirty and tell inappropriate jokes, you don’t have to. Ephesians 4:29 says to “guard your speech - never let ugly or hateful words come from your mouth, but instead let your words become beautiful gifts that encourage others.” In Jesus, you have what you need to make the choice to talk differently. 

To the preacher’s kids that everyone expects to go wild, you don’t have to. Matthew 6:33 says to “seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously.” 1 Timothy 6:11 also says to “pursue a Godly life.” In Jesus, you have what you need to make the choice to live righteously. 

To the alcoholic’s kid that everyone expects will follow down the same road, you don’t have to. Romans 5:18 says, “Yes, Adam’s one sin brings condemnation for everyone, but Christ’s one act of righteousness brings a right relationship with God and new life for everyone.” Romans 12:2 says to “let God transform you into a new person.” In Jesus, you have what you need to make the choice to let God make you new. 

To every other person who has been given negative stereotypes or is sinking under the weight of labels, you have what you need to make the choice to live a Godly life. If you feel like you have lost who you truly are because you have been simply living up to human expectations, you have what you need to make the choice to find your identity in Jesus.  Proverbs 2:9 says that He will empower us to make the right decisions, and Psalms 106:3 tells us that there is joy in doing the right thing. 

In Jesus, we can live a Godly life. So, to my earlier question “Do we have to fall into a given stereotype?” my answer is most certainly no. In Jesus, we have a choice. Not that it’ll be an easy choice, but we can still make it.  We can live righteously no matter who we are, how old we are, who our parents are, or how bad our past is. We just have to choose to. And we can…with Jesus. 

Peter, Paul, and Me

 

How many times have you known what you should do, but you ignore it or you do the exact opposite? Then you sit around feeling horrible for the thing you just did or because you did nothing when you knew you should’ve done something? If you are human (and honest), your answer was probably something like “All the time!” and with good reason. You are human. It’s an issue Paul struggled with often. In Romans 7:21, he says, “when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong.” He goes on to describe himself as miserable, stating that “there’s another power within me that is at war with my mind.” Sound familiar? Anyone else find themselves feeling like a miserable person? It’s good to know we are not alone. 

Reality #1: Humans are sinful creatures. We have a sinful nature. Period. Paul said, “I am all too human, a slave to sin.” And how crazy is it that when boundaries are drawn (like the law), it’s our own sinful hearts that desire to cross them! Our rebelliousness kicks in and we become weak to its power. It’s scary to me that our sinful nature “is always hostile to God,” which means it is always fighting against God. Romans 8:8 adds that “those who are still under the control of their sinful nature can never please God.” Paul’s words. Not mine. Never please God? That’s a huge statement.  One that causes me to look for answers...a way out.  

Reality #2: The answer is in Jesus. Romans 8:2 says, “because you belong to Him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.” The law couldn’t give us salvation or freedom from ourselves. So God did what the law could not. He sent Jesus. We are no longer captive to the power of sin. Through Jesus, the power of sin is broken and we are alive to God! Sin is no longer our master. 

Reality #3: There is a constant battle inside of us. Sin will always want to be the master, the controlling force in our lives. It will falsely promise satisfaction. My pastor explains it like this: “The devil can’t create anything, so he takes the old you and tries to make it appealing.” Sin deceives, and when given the opportunity, it will destroy you. The battle inside of us is a battle for our identity. Pastor D challenges us to “declare war on the version of yourself that you don’t want to be.” How do I do that?!?

Reality #4: The answer is in Jesus. Before Jesus, we had no choice but to sin. It’s inevitable. It’s who we were. When we accepted Jesus and His victory over sin in us, we were free. We belong to Him, and we are a new creature. We now have the ability to choose who we will obey.  Romans 6:12 says, “Do not let sin control the way you live; do not give in to sinful desires.” We now have a way to avoid giving sin the opportunity to rule over our lives! Sin no longer has to be your master. We are free!! Free to live holy before God. 

Reality #5: The choice to become a slave to righteous living is not always easy. Remember, there’s a constant battle inside of us. Think of any battle in history. You know battles are hard. The two conflicting sides will go to any extreme necessary to get the victory. In our lives, it’s no different.  The battle for control is hard. Remember Paul? He said, “In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature, I am a slave to sin.” It will always be a battle. One that we won’t win on our own. We can’t. But we CAN choose WHO wins in our lives. Now, how do I do that?!?! How do I make the choice to not follow my sinful nature, but instead be led by the Spirit? 

Reality #6: The answer is in Jesus. Let’s travel back in time to just before the death of Jesus. Peter, who loved Jesus and was one of His followers, was predicted to deny his Lord. Not just once, but three times. You know the story. After Jesus was arrested, Peter joined the guards in the courtyard. Sitting by the fire, he denied knowing Jesus three times. The prediction came true.  Realizing what had happened, Peter runs away in tears. Luke 22:54 says that after Jesus was arrested, “Peter followed at a distance.” He was concerned, but he didn’t have the courage to be clearly associated with Jesus. What if that distance made it easier for him to deny Jesus?  How often are we trying to do the right thing, but we find it easier to follow our sinful nature? Maybe it’s because we are trying to follow Jesus at a distance. We want to follow Jesus, but we try to hold on to things in our lives that hinder us from being who God truly intends for us to be. James 4:8 in the Passion Translation says to “move your heart closer and closer to God, and He will come even closer to you.” It’s time to stop following Jesus at a distance. If we are continually positioning ourselves as close as possible to Jesus, it will be harder to deny Him. 

In this battle for control, we must ask ourselves this question: Where is my mind set? Are we dominated by our sinful nature or are we controlled by the Holy Spirit? If we truly belong to Jesus, we have the victory over sin. We win. Not because of us, but because of who we are in Jesus. Distancing ourselves from Him gives sin the opportunity to deceive us into believing a lie about our identity. It’s time to draw close. Make the choice to live as a beloved child of God...one who is moved by the impulses of the Holy Spirit. 

Life Lessons from Coach

Physical therapy was hard today. The therapist added new exercises that pushed Alex to her limits. Necessary for proper healing, but difficult to endure. Emotions were all over the place, tears were shed, and giving up certainly felt like a better option at times. But she survived. And will be stronger because of it.

Now, let me give you the story.  This is what I learned from a therapist…

 

We’ll call him Coach. He’s been Alex’s therapist on and off for over seven months. Time together has built a certain degree of trust, also necessary for proper healing. 

 

Today, started like most days start: “The Chair,” also known as a CPM, or continuous passive motion machine. It’s a device used to flex and extend the knee to combat joint stiffness or immobility. It’s also one of Alex’s least favorite parts, hence the nickname (in my most evil, disgusted voice) “The Chair.” There were other regular exercises after that, and then there was what Coach called “The Reebok.”

 

“The Reebok” is a simple step to most. To Alex, it was a source of fear and anxiety. The goal was to step up – first with the braced leg followed by the other, then back down again with no crutch or bar to hold onto. One step. For most people, a single step would seem like nothing. But, when you’ve been through a recent, traumatic injury, it becomes a challenge. Which is why…

 

We should never let our own experiences become the basis on how we judge other people’s situations or how they handle life.

 

Just walking to the Reebok caused fear. What if it hurts? What if I can’t do it? What if I fall?

Coach strapped a band around Alex’s waist and stood behind her.  For a second, nobody moved. Alex seemed to be considering her next step. Finally, she said, “How do I start?” Coach was there with a plan… “Just take a step up,” and he talked her through which leg to start with.

 

When we get to a place where we don’t know what to do, ask.

 

I watched for what seemed like minutes as Alex contemplated his words. “Just step up.” Easier said than done. But, Coach knows that…

 

Sometimes you have to do things you’re afraid of – the hard things – to get where you need to be.

 

Sensing her fear and doubt, Coach stepped closer to her. As he tightened his grip on her waistband, he offered words of encouragement – gentle reminders that he has her back. “I’ve got you.” “I will not let you fall.” My heart quickly realized that that’s how Jesus is with me. He has my back. He will not let me fall.

Hearing his words, Alex took a step. Slow and full of fear. But, she made it! Then back down. Over and over, she began to take the steps. There were times that she would struggle and say, “I can’t.” Coach would reply, “Yes, you can. Go.” He knew that giving up was not an option. He knew…

 

You will never get where you need to be if you give up when it gets too hard.

 

Other times during the exercise, she would stumble or her muscles would shake, and every single time, Coach would hold her up himself. Pulling on her waistband, he never let go and he held her until she was ready to try again. 

 

In life, there will be struggles and Jesus will allow it for our own growth and strength, but when we stumble or are at our weakest, He will hold us up until we are ready to go again.

 

Coach never let her stop, nor did he pull her from the exercise because it was pushing her too hard. He simply held her and encouraged her. He understands the process to proper healing.

Still other times, I heard the frustration in Alex’s voice. Not just frustration because it was hard, but she was also frustrated with Coach. Why wouldn’t he just let her stop? It was like she was telling him enough was enough. Even to the point of being stubborn and just putting her feet on the floor and quitting. Every time, Coach would physically pull her up with the band and say, “No, keep going.” And, she did. She understood that he was actually in control of the situation. Her reaction would not have been the same with me or anyone else, but she has developed a certain level of trust in him over the course of time she’s worked with him. She has spent enough time with him that she knows he has her back, he knows what he’s doing, and he has a plan for her that she couldn’t come up with on her own. 

 

Spend enough time with Jesus to develop a level of trust that allows you to always remember he is actually in control and that he knows what he’s doing in your life.

 

As Coach held her up during her moments of frustration – even frustration with him – he never changed. He never loosened his grip. He never told her to stop crying. He was never offended by her frustration at him. But, he never caved to her emotions. He allowed her to feel those emotions, but would not allow them to influence her progress. 

 

We’re allowed to feel emotion. We’re allowed to be frustrated. But, our emotions should not influence our progress. 

 

As I watched in silence, the exercise continued. She completed the entire set! She was never completely on her own, but she’ll get there. Because she has someone in her corner, coaching her and holding her until he knows she’s ready to try it herself. 

 

Jesus is in our corner, holding us until He knows we’re ready to try it ourselves. Then, He will let go and walk beside us, never fully leaving us.

 

Finally, with shaky legs and tired muscles, Alex turned to walk to the next exercise. (Keep in mind that Coach had previously taken away her only crutch and made her walk without it.) She looked at where she was and then where she needed to go. She felt the fatigue of the last exercise, and dread crept in. At that moment, without saying a word, Coach reached out his hand. She looked at him, and he smiled and said, “I got you.” She put her hand in his and together, they walked.

 

When we look at where we are and then where we need to go, we may find ourselves feeling anxious or full of dread. But, we need to remember that Jesus is with us, holding out His hand, saying, “I got you.”

 

Therapy is an ongoing process. It’s a necessary step toward proper healing. Is it hard? Very. Is it exhausting? Extremely. Frustrating? Absolutely. But, the outcome far outweighs the challenges. In the end, Alex will be stronger because of her therapy struggles.

 

Life’s challenges can be overwhelming, exhausting, and frustrating. But, when you allow Jesus to be in control – knowing that no matter what happens – He has your back and He has a plan for your life, you will survive. Not only survive, but you will be stronger than you were before. Trust Him. He’s got you.

 

Treasure

Dark clouds filled the sky, and thunder broke the peaceful silence.  One glance behind him, and he knew he didn’t have long.  A flash of lightning just seconds later told him the storm was almost here.  He started walking faster, his toes sinking in the sand with every step.  Oh, how he loved the feel of the sand and the gentle touch of the water as the waves made their way to his legs.  As the rain began to fall, he made sure his pouch was tucked securely into his pocket. He would have to run to beat the storm making its way down the shoreline. The gentle waves had already turned violent, forcing him to move further up on the beach.  Running was difficult with one hand pushing against his pocket, but he could not lose his pouch.  He ran, faster and faster, until finally he reached his covered porch, collapsing as soon as he cleared the top step.  Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his pouch and opened it, spilling its contents onto the wood floor.  “Yes,” he thought, “they’re all here.”   He picked each shell up and examined it carefully, turning each one over and over.  Every time he held a shell in his hand, he imagined what it looked like before...before the life it held inside had died. What had this tiny shell had to endure?  As it worked to protect the animal inside, what had it been through?  Based on the smooth lines and textures of each shell, he could tell they had weathered many storms.  They had been tossed around in the waves of the ocean.  But, how beautiful they were!  He loved the way each shell, although similar to the others, had something unique.  Each shell had specific characteristics that helped tell the story of its journey to land.  As he examined his treasures, he smiled.  “These are amazing!”  As he carefully placed each one back into his pouch, he realized the storm was over.  There was only a slight breeze blowing now.  He gently tucked the pouch back into his pocket.  “You’ll be safe here,” he whispered, as he stepped off the porch and headed back toward the beach. He was excited at the thought of finding more shells that may have washed up during the storm. What would they look like? How different had their journey been? His hand slid over his pocket.  No matter what, he knew he would keep them in his treasure pouch, safe and secure. They belonged to him, and he loved them.

  When God looks at us, He sees a treasure.  He sees someone who has weathered more than a few storms.  He sees someone who has been tossed around by the struggles of life.  He sees someone who feels lonely and lost.  He sees fear, insecurity, doubt.  He sees the lies that we try to hide behind...the thoughts that keep us bound.  He sees everything about us. And, He smiles.  

     You see, God doesn’t see those things as flaws that have caused a decrease in value.  Nor does He see our worth decline with every struggle.  The “flaws” in our life, the things we think render us worthless, are integral parts of our journey.  They’re important details that help tell a story. Our life story depends on them, but our worth does not.  God does not see us as the messed up version we often see of ourselves.  He sees us as a treasure worth protecting.  A treasure worth securing in His treasure pouch.  A treasure He thinks of constantly. 

“Every single moment you are thinking of me!

How precious and wonderful to consider,

That you cherish me constantly in your every thought!

O God, your desires toward me are more

Than the grains of sand on every shore!

When I awake each morning,

You’re still thinking of me.”

--Psalm 130:17-18 (the Passion translation)

To God, we are HIS treasure.  We belong to Him, and He loves us.  Next time you are bogged down by feelings of worthlessness or inadequacy, remember who you are and who you belong to.  Stop trying to be worth something to others and realize that being worth something to God is more than enough.  Then, you will find peace.  Take comfort in knowing that you are a valuable piece of creation, you are loved and thought of by the creator of the universe, and “your life is safe in the care of the Lord your God, secure in HIS treasure pouch.”

💗💗💗💗💗

Surrender

SURRENDER

When I hear the word surrender, I think of war.  In every battle, either someone wins and someone loses….or someone surrenders.  Surrender means that someone gives up.  They get to a point where they say “I can’t do this anymore”.  They give in to their opponent.  They hand over everything they were trying to hold on to.  Most often, it’s the things they’d held onto so hard…the things that were most valuable to them.  They relinquish control. 

I also think of a police chase.  When someone is running from the police, they use everything they can think to use to avoid getting caught….hiding, speed, lies, disguises, excuses, and even weapons.  When they are out of options and finally realize they are not going to win, they slowly step into the light, lay down their weapons, and raise their hands into the air. 

Now, lets apply those ideas of surrender to our surrender to God. 

There’s a battle for our lives.  Every day.  Every single decision we make, every thought we have, every word we say…everything about our lives plays into this battle.  Unfortunately, we try to be the lead role in the battle.  We try to solve our own problems, raise our own kids in our own way, choose for ourselves who we will marry, plan our own careers, and pave our own way.  In actuality, we end up fighting with the wrong side! We end up fighting against the One who could help us the most.  The One that could save us.  Whether you’ve fought this battle your whole life and constantly felt the affects or you are just now understanding that you cannot do this anymore, surrender is crucial.  It’s time to say, “I can’t do this anymore.”  Spiritually surrendering doesn’t mean you give up, defeated.  It means you give up trying on your own.  It means you relinquish control. It means you stop holding on to everything you’ve held on to for so long.  It means you put everything about you….the good, the bad, and the ugly…into the hands of Jesus.  Surrendering to Him doesn’t mean you lose.  It means you win. 

Our lives can also become like the police chase.  Except in this case, we are the runner and Jesus is the one chasing after us.  When we are living our way, doing our own thing, we tend to run from Jesus and living fully for Him. We hide.  We run full force into anything other than His arms.  We lie.  We use every excuse we can think of.  We even try to disguise or cover up who we are.  We run and run and run.  Maybe it’s not as apparent as the criminal being chased by the police.  Maybe your life seems put together.  It’s likely you have everyone deceived, and possibly, you’ve even been deceiving yourself.  In reality, if we are not running toward Jesus, we are running away.  Luckily, He never stops chasing after us.  It’s time to slowly step into the light, lay down every weapon and device we’ve used to run, and raise our hands in surrender. 

In battles, there may be prisoners of war.  In police chases, there may be prison time.  Surrender can be costly.  Relinquishing control is not an easy decision.  I’m certain that the surrendering side of battle weighed out the pros and cons of their decision first.  In the end, however, the negative effects they would feel because of their surrender were a better option than not surrendering at all.  The criminal knows there will be consequences to his actions once he hands himself over to the police, but at some point, he decides that the consequences he will face because of his surrender were a better option than continuing the chase.  It will likely cost us something when we decide to relinquish control of our lives.  But, we must understand that the cost of our surrender is a better option than trying to live without Jesus at the wheel. 

Sometimes, a surrender is conditional.  One side agrees to do certain things in exchange for the surrender of the other.  Other times, there is no such offer.  For us, we would be crazy to think we could demand a conditional surrender with the One who has already died on a cross for us.  We cannot say “Jesus, I will surrender my life to you IF you do this.”  Our surrender needs to be a total surrender with no strings attached.  However, the awesome thing about Jesus is He has already promised us so much.  We do not surrender to earn what He has promised, we surrender because we realize we cannot do life without Him.   His promises are always true, but when we surrender ourselves to Him, we’ve opened the doors to the fulfillment of those promises in OUR lives. 

WARNING: In war, there is a term called “false surrender.”  Basically, one group would “surrender” to draw the enemy out of cover to attack them off guard.  While this was often effective in battle, it will not work for us.  We cannot half-heartedly surrender to Jesus and expect a victory.  The difference in a false surrender during war and a false surrender to Jesus is that instead of it helping us, a false surrender will draw US out of cover and allow Satan to attack us off guard.

Surrender isn’t a one-time deal.  It’s not a single decision that lasts forever.  It’s a process.  And it’s hard.  We would be naïve to think that total surrender to God would equal an easy life free from troubles and challenges. Surrender doesn’t prevent problems or trials; surrender gives you a hand to hold as you walk through them.  Surrender requires a level of trust that says, “Whatever happens, it’s part of God’s plan.”  Why do we, as humans, struggle with relinquishing control in our lives?  Do we think our ideas and plans are better than the plans God has for us?  Do we somehow think God doesn’t know what He is doing?  Or maybe we honestly believe that God’s ways are better, but we don’t think we deserve His goodness and love so we continue to do things on our own. We keep trudging along, doing the best we can, but with every step we keep sinking deeper and deeper.  We think our faith and life in Jesus depends on us - instead of trusting in His power and faithfulness.  The truth is… well, Jesus is truth.  He is bigger than our challenges.  He is bigger than our trials.  He is bigger than our plans.  His views for our lives are bigger than we can see for ourselves.  And He is waiting on us to lean into Him.  Total surrender isn’t easy, but it is worth it.  Every day, every moment, choose to surrender to Him to the best of your ability.  He knows your heart, and He is willing to help you along the way.  What a beautiful adventure life can be when we surrender ourselves totally to the One who loves us extravagantly!

It's a New Year!!

                           

It’s a new year! 2017 is behind us, and 2018 is before us.  A new year always brings about a mix of emotions: excitement, anticipation, nervousness, determination.  A feeling of change.  The beginning of a new year is when many people make resolutions, or firm decisions to do something different in their life.  For me, the problem with resolutions is the first time you mess up, it feels like failure.  There’s a huge pressure with resolutions that weighs you down. That feeling of failure when you mess up causes many people to throw in the towel, making resolutions seem short-term. If you look at memberships at any fitness center in January and then in February, you would see a huge drop in numbers.  People have good ideas and desires, but following through is more difficult.  For me, setting goals works better than making a list of resolution “to dos”.  Goals are desired results…the object of a person’s ambition or effort.  Goals are things that you work on continually.  It’s deciding what you want and putting your best effort into achieving that.  Goals are more than empty promises of change.  They are the changes…. made because you have determination and ambition.  They’re something that you work hard for, even if you mess up along the way.  Goals aren’t set aside the first time you fail. 

So, how do we set goals, and how many should we have?  Honestly, the answers to those questions are different for everyone.  Some people do well with making a list of multiple very specific and detailed goals.  Other people choose one or two goals to work toward over the course of the entire year.  Goals can be short term, long-term, simple (getting a small task done on time or getting to work on time), or more complex (deepen my relationships with my family). No matter what goals you have for yourself, the key is staying motivated and determined to make it happen.  Work hard and don’t give up.  If you mess up, keep going. 

I have made a few goals for myself this year, and I will work hard to make them happen!  My goals are written down in my journal and I have discussed them with my best friend.  Often, we set goals for ourselves in our minds without ever writing them down or sharing them with someone close to us.  The problem with that is unless we share it somewhere, we have nothing or no one to hold us accountable.  No accountability makes it easier to forget about a goal when it gets tough or when we make a mistake.  Share your goals.  And if someone confides in you with their goals, support them and encourage them!

In addition to setting goals for myself, I have decided to choose one word to represent my year.  Everything I do this year I want to point back to this word. It will become my focus.  Unlike resolutions that can be easily broken, choosing one word to center myself around will give me a “vision for real change.”  I chose the word: 

INTENTIONAL

Intentional means deliberate and done on purpose.  It is an adjective, which means it describes.  I want my life to be described as intentional.  I want my actions to always be purposeful.  Intention is a mental state that represents a commitment to carrying out an action(s) in the future.  It involves mental activities such as planning and forethought.  Intentional means everything a person does needs to be thought out beforehand.  Will this action make a positive impact in my life or my world?  For me, living an intentional life means making a determined effort to do things purposefully in all areas, especially with my relationship to Jesus.  Spiritual growth requires intentional effort.  Brian LaCroix said, “be a person who does not live by default, but lives by decision.”  In my life, I want to be more determined to do what it takes to know God better and love Him more. This year, I don’t want to just let things happen.  I want to focus on pleasing God in whatever situation I’m in.  I want to live intentional.  I want to be intentional with my marriage and my relationship with Anthony.  I want to take a good thing, and focus on making it better.  I also want to be intentional with my parenting. As parents, we are expected to teach and model Biblical principles to our kids.  I can’t model Godly living, trust in God, a love for God and His Word by default.  It takes determined, decisive effort.  I want that. 

I want to be intentional about my actions, my words, and my attitude.  Ephesians 5:15 reminds me to “be careful how I live.”  Everything I do or say should have the purpose of bettering something in my world.  A word that is related to intentional is diligence, which means careful and persistent work or effort.  Being diligent is having an earnest and persistent application of effort.  I have to apply myself.  It’s not surprising to me that some antonyms of diligence and intentional are inactivity, laziness, and neglect.  This year, my focus is to make every moment count.  And as I focus on being more intentional in all areas of my life, I will be expecting that God will do wonderful things in me and around me because of it.  This year, as God works in me and around me, I will also enjoy the ride!!!!